User blog:AmyLavigne/It's been a while.

Little under two years since my abrupt departure from CAW, in fact. I feel now's as good a time as any to explain some things.

Why did I suddenly up and delete everything? It was honestly troll's remorse. Over the past 5 or-so years, I've been regretting a lot of the things I've done in CAW. A lot of the trolling and harassment that led to people who could've become part of the community leaving pre-maturely. Those feelings kinda ate away at me for years, and it all came to a head in 2018. Some people who I had wronged in the past came seemingly out of nowhere to make peace with me. Seeing all these people again and burying the hatchet with them really made it sink in: In my own quest to be this le epic troll edgelord, I fucked over a lot of people who could've been valuable assets to the community, and, in some ways, the decline of CAW over the past decade is partially my fault. I still believe certain people did deserve it (people like Tyson Bennett, CCL Guy, and CJ Sellers in specific), but the overwhelming majority didn't.

Erasing everything I had built up over all those years was penance. I don't want to be that person anymore, and I wanted to eliminate as much shit from that stage in my life as I possibly could. I'm sorry for the inconveniences it caused, but I believe it was the right call, and I stand by it.

Will I ever make an actual return to CAW? Never say never. For now, I just wanted to get all of this off of my chest. I'm glad to see the community's still around in some form or another. Best of luck to all of you in continuing keeping this going.

~ BurbMEERKAT